For me, 2018 marks the end of self-doubt. I made a drastic change after hitting rock bottom and decided to go full blast on dreams and aspirations. An immediate learning curb took place and reality of it meant hard work and time management WAS and IS going to be essential for success.
I learned I was internally wounded and set time aside to make sure I didn´t continue to hurt those around me.
I learned my soul does not belong trapped in a cubicle.
I learned failing many times helps become a well-rounded individual.
I learned how to sleep. Yes, sleep!
I learned to focus on what I love – training in MMA, creative and songwriting, interpreting and helping those who need help the most.
I learned that although my family broke, it does not mean we cannot heal.
Most importantly, I learned not to stress over circumstances I cannot control.
The importance of reflection throughout the year can bring a lot of correction on how you want to live. I think it’s a practice we should learn to have especially during times we are struggling. A lot of people around me my age are having their second baby and have stable careers. My heart aches for the cuteness of it all. But, at the same time, I know I am not meant to be on that path yet. That is a different kind of struggle and joy. To be a parent and balance life and work. Sleepless nights and routine work days to make sure your children are raised in the best environment possible. Parents are superheroes on steroids. I’m happy to see my friends create these homes, but I know my journey does not entail this wonderful lifestyle just yet.
Putting a family and home on HOLD by choice is not easy. Especially when it’s all you see around you. But it is clear to me that taking risks and finding passion in what I do is more important than anything else in the world. I can always fall back on a 9-5 job because I’ve done it. Despite the stigma behind it, I can choose to have my first baby in my 30s because that’s when I know I’ll be ready. Society does not and should not dictate who you are or what you need to do. We are all just a life passing through this world and as time goes by, so does our ability to live a full and happy life. I can still remember writing the date 01/21/1998 back in Charles Bursch Elementary school during a spelling bee test. Fast forward and press play to 2019 and I’m still dreaming the same dreams: on stage performing, traveling the world, writing and publishing, connecting on a large scale with the poor, meeting new people and helping them on their journey. I mean, who day dreams that daily and does not act on it? Me, for 20 years. It’s time.
So, lets go 2019!! Checklist:
Vocal coach on deck ?
EP & Music Video Release!?
Sub Publishing deal what’s up? ?
LIVE show somewhere somehow! ?
State and Federally Certified Interpreter (why not? My concussion symptoms were SO like, years ago) ?
First book in the works ?
Ju Jitsu – Blue Belt haaaaaaaaa ya! ?
Compete where you can BRUH ?♀️
That stunt gym? DO IT Those auditions? DO IT ?♀️
Write Write Write Write Write (nothing new) ?
Read Read Read Read Read Read (also nothing new) ?
Software and technology time – in Music and Translating (home studio woot woot) ?⚖
Mark Daniel’s Foundation – fundraising ideas in ACTION! ?
My goals fully exposed! YUP! Why?
“Don’t tell people your plans. Show them Your results”
“Work hard in silence. Let success make the noise”
“Achieving permanent goals in silence is better than displaying temporary feelings in public…”
I see and hear theses sayings all the time. But WHY? Why do you have to be quiet about your goals? Why are we all socially connected but spiritually disconnected? Why are we afraid to FAIL and have people see us FAIL? Why can’t I share with you my thoughts? Why should I let fear of judgment stop me?
Cant’s and Don’ts have been in my vocabulary for SO LONG! I’ve learned to say, “why not?” to all of it and it is getting me to places I thought I would never reach! I invite all of you to try it ?
I think it’s better to help each other through success and failure. Have dialogue. Tell each other the good and the bad. Build tolerance and really HEAR what we are saying, without blindly moving on.
Together let’s try to make 2019 about REAL connections, not profile ones!