I wake up with nowhere to go. Nothing of significance to do. My hand reaches for a phone that is now an apparatus in flesh. It slows down my neurons habitually with garbage. Making it harder and harder to think. And I allow it. Like a junkie looking forward to its next dose and wondering when I am going to feel okay. A device replacing the human touch. But never satisfying it.
I turn on the Television just to hear a voice other than my own. And realize we are still in a pandemic. They talk about a vaccine in development and how it is the quickest ever produced. They talk about how the number of COVID19 cases are increasing once more. Lockdowns. Schools shut down. Unemployment rates. ICU beds overwhelmed. And this family who made the decision to take their young ones, rented a U-Haul and moved to Vermont to find some peace of mind, away from the city. I change it to some lighthearted Ellen Degeneres clips to ease my mind. I pretend to laugh. Even the kindest representation in entertainment is under scrutiny.
Nicholas Christakis from Yale University says historically speaking, we are behaving the same way our ancestors did during a Pandemic. There are those who lie and deny. They do not believe in it. They do not believe that an infectious disease means we must follow a set of rules to protect ourselves. The United States of America is an Illusion. So many people criticized Trump and depicted him as this evil toddler unfit for presidency. Truly, I am no better. I am quick to complain. I see other’s who I do not agree with and judge quietly. And do nothing about it. I am mentally empty and wander aimlessly with the rest.
The mirrors on our walls do not lie. But trick us none the less. It reflects back what’s in front of it but shows no one else around us. Every day, our species gets up and gazes at the self-more than once. It is so natural to us. Yet, if we are asked to see others. We cannot see. We start analyzing and separating each other because it is a different body and not our own.
Here is a better reflection than that of a mirror – if I am capable of writing and reading these lines, I have more to be thankful for than I initially thought. The pandemic in its existence has affected so many negatively. But if you have a toilet to use daily and food in your fridge. If you are not sleeping outside in the cold or walk barefoot in the streets. Well you are one of the lucky few. Maybe you and I can change our toxic habits. We are not worried about survival. So, our minds can be used to solve problems and not create them. And for a moment. As wild as the brain likes to run. For a moment. we are okay.